


Exhaustion

by Cherry_Sofa_729



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Couch Cuddles, Crying, Cuddles, Exhaustion, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Intrusive Thoughts, Light Angst, Parental Deceit | Janus Sanders, Remus calls Janus Mama and that has my soul, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles, Temper Tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_Sofa_729/pseuds/Cherry_Sofa_729
Summary: Remus hasn’t slept in way too long, and he’s at his wits end. Janus knows he can’t go much longer, so he helps his little octopus get to bed.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus “The Duke” Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 130





	Exhaustion

Why- who- why- who in Satan’s name was waking him up??

Well, not really waking him up, but disturbing in peaceful hours of staring at the ceiling and wishing for death to come so he could get an ounce of sleep. 

Remus struggled to sit up, he head already starting to pound. “What do you want?!” He snapped, trying to force his heavy limbs into movement. 

“It’s a script writing day Remus! You need to be up and fed to get those ideas going!” Patton said way too cheerfully for Remus’ tastes 

God, the idea of food made him nauseous. Not to mention having to think. And write. 

He groaned and forced himself to his feet. Today would be a long day. 

———

Remus shambled downstairs, his limbs didn’t seem to want to cooperate with his body. 

Not that he could blame them. Jesus, 65 hours without sleep really does a number on a person.

He couldn’t think. There was a deep, pulsing, clouding fog in his brain that wouldn’t disappear no matter how much he rubbed at his aching eyes. 

At the smell of food, he curled his upper lip, threw a chair back and plopped himself down. 

“Good morning Remus.” Janus said quietly. Remus gave him the middle finger. 

All of breakfast, he felt like his nerves were being played like guitar strings. Each sharp, metallic grate of knives or forks on a plate made him dizzy with anger. It was just so annoying! The way they talked, the way they moved, the way they BREATHED!

Did they even realize how loud they were being? Shivers ran up and down his spine with each scrape of metal, like a jackhammer drilling into his skull.

This continued for the rest of the day, and only got worse. 

It’s not that Remus was quiet, no, he was actually rather bold and upfront. He was never one to sit and sulk, even if he wasn’t feeling his best. 

“You’re stupid.” He snapped, whenever Logan made a point. Making the logical side bristle made his very very tired brain attempt a smile. 

“I am not stupid, Remus and if you would listen-“

“Stuuuuupid.” He sang, pleased when he made Logan’s eyebrow twitch. 

“What is up with you today?” Roman asked, putting his notebook down and crossing his arms. His twin had been acting strangely all day, and he was prepared to let it go, but now it was impacting their script writing session.

Remus rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “You all are just being even more stupid than usual.” 

He didn’t have to fake the jaw-cracking yawn that came next. 

Roman huffed. “If you’re so bored, you can leave.”

Part of Remus wanted to go back to bed so badly, he craved it like a cokehead relative. But the other part of him knew he’d just be staring at his ceiling, still unable to sleep. 

And that pissed him off.

“Nah. I’m staying right here.”

He stood up from his seat, a weird, quaky restlessness coming into his bones. 

The restlessness didn’t leave. Neither did the irritability. 

He felt like he was going to be physically sick if he stayed still for too long. Breathing, walking, thinking, it all felt like an insurmountable chore. But one that he had to complete, lest the restlessness come back. 

His skin crawled with spiders or ants or something, something invisible that he couldn’t smash, and he swore the shadows were moving around the room. 

He paced back and forth, snapping at anyone who asked him what he was doing. 

“Remus, come over here, we need your help with a joke.”

Remus groaned, spun on his heel and walked back to the script writing table.

“What.”

“Can you help us with this joke? I think-“

“Not funny.” The words were out of his mouth before he could even read it. 

Janus sighed. “Okay. Can you help us change it?”

Remus snarled, lip curling as his head started filling with nasty, mean thoughts. 

He hated when this would happen. When all his intrusive thoughts would bubble to the surface and turn to strike inward, making themselves personal to him. 

_Nobody likes you, nobody actually wants you here._

“No.” He said sharply. He didn’t have the energy to mentally filter today. “No I can’t help you change it. Apparently my humour doesn’t work for videos. Besides.” He turned back around, even standing still for two seconds made his intrusive thoughts rage and the restlessness to return. “You don’t actually want me here.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “With how you’re acting today, we really don’t!”

Remus stopped dead in his tracks. Rage swirled and bubbled like a witch’s brew in his gut, slowly running through his veins. 

“Oh yeah?” He growled. “That’s what you think, you obnoxious little bitch?!”

“Remus, can we have a talk?”

“No!” He screamed, barring his teeth at Janus. 

“Remus, your behaviour is unacceptable today, and we’d like to know why.”

Why was he upset again? The reason got lost in all his thoughts. Oh yeah, he was fucking exhausted. 

He wasn’t gonna tell them that. He didn’t have to! They didn’t have to know! 

Was he being irrational? Maybe! He was too exhausted to make sense of anything. 

“No! I don’t have to tell you anything!” He spat, crossing his arms and turning away from the group. 

“Why are you being so ridiculous?” 

“Shut up!” 

“Says you, you haven’t shut up a day in your life.” Roman spat, standing up and getting ready to approach his brother in case something happened.

Janus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Seriously, Remus. You need to calm down and stop acting like this.”

Calm down? Calm DOWN?! He didn’t need to do SHIT! If they hated him so much he didn’t need to be here! “What are you gonna do, mom?! Send me back to the dark side?!”

Janus actually seemed startled at that. “Wait, no-“ he started, holding his hand out to hopefully calm Remus.

“Just shut your dirty mouth and lemme do what I want!” He spat, stomping his foot on the ground.

He balled up his fists, anger pulsing through his veins. He grappled at his hair, trying to contain the surge of energy and manic, pure rage. 

“Everyone back up.” Janus said from very far away. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t  think… 

“What’s going on? Remus?”

That was it. Remus let out a shocking, rage-filled scream. 

He didn’t know what he was doing, but he summoned his morning star and started beating the shit out of living room. He shoved the couch across the room, reviling in the crack of wood. 

He kicked over the coffee table, screaming at the top of his lungs. He continued kicking until there was a huge hole in the table, and he shoved his foot right through. 

Remus was seeing red, tunnel vision as he felt the inescapable need to destroy  everything.  He didn’t even know what made him so angry! Something about the lack of sleep and the terrible irritation made stupid things tick him off. 

He used his morning star, slamming it into the soft couch pillows. Stuffing and feathers flew up around him as he grunted with every swing. He didn’t know what he was doing, he just had to keep punching, destroying, until he either passed out or his mind finally quieted enough for him to get some peace for once.

Tears sprung to his eyes. Everything hurt. His head pounded, the fog refusing to clear no matter how angry he got! 

He didn’t want to do this! He wanted to go to sleep!

He spun around and punched the wall, the plaster shattering under his hand. He kept punching one fist after another, until something would finally change and he could let his brain and body rest. 

When he finally came out of his fog, he had to shut his eyes. 

Breathing was a task. He so unbelievably, insanely tired. 

His knees buckled. His body couldn’t continue but his brain wouldn’t shut up!

He crumpled to his knees and began to cry. He just wanted silence so he could sleep!

“Hey, sweetie. Hey, it’s Janus.” Janus? Remus hiccuped and wiped his eyes, trying to look at his friend. 

“Mama?” He whimpered. His brain felt like mush. 

“N- um, sure, I guess. Mama’s here, sweetie. Now what made you throw a tantrum?”

Remus shook his head, before gently setting it down onto the hardwood floor. The floor was cool on his hot, tear-streaked face.

“People don’t throw tantrums over nothing, Remus.”

Remus whined, weakly punching the floor with a loose fist. “I’m really really tired.” He mumbled into the hardwood.

“You’re tired?” Janus said with surprise. He was honestly expecting something much worse.

“Yeah! I haven’t gotten any sleep in so long and I can’t hold myself up and my brain hurts!”

“Oh sweetie. Why can’t you sleep?” Janus’ hand ran over his hair, petting him like a very sleepy cat. 

Remus whined. “My thoughts won’t shut up! I just want them to be quiet so I can sleep!” He gently tapped his forehead on the solid ground and clasped his hands over his head, trapping Janus’ hand there. 

There was silence for a moment, as well as tremors when Janus stood and walked. He came back and gently tapped Remus on the shoulder. 

“We turned the lights off and we have Happy Tree Friends on the TV.”

“Thought I busted the TV.” 

“Roman fixed it. C’mon.” A tug on his shoulder and he was being lifted up off the floor. “We’ll get you to sleep, baby.”

The arms he was in were very warm. Why was he so cold anyway? But regardless, he leaned his tired head on Janus’ chest. The steady thump of his heartbeat calmed his thoughts down as he curled up like a cat. 

He shut his eyes, breathing in through his nose to focus on the nice thumping beat. “I’m sorry mama. I’m sorry I threw a tantrum.”

“It’s alright dear.” A soft, gloved hand rubbed his back in slow, soothing motions as they sat together on the magically repaired couch. He tucked his head into Janus’ armpit, relaxing further as a hand came to card through his hair. 

“Okay buddy! It’s pyjama time!” When Patton decided “buddy” as the best nickname for Remus, no one knew. But he liked it, so. 

With a snap, his normal outfit was replaced with an oversized green shirt and a pair of cotton booty shorts. Remus sighed and let the tension in his shoulders relax. His outfit made his skin crawl with how tight it was around his body, and he loved the loose feeling of the clothes. 

He rubbed his bare legs against the couch, stimming with the textured fabric. 

“Sit up, Remus. You should get some food in you.” Logan said, tapping Remus’ shin. 

Moving? No. He didn’t wanna move off of mama, that was just stupid. “Nooooo.”

“Why not?”

“Stomach doesn’t want food. Nauseous.” 

“No, Remus. I think you just have a decreased appetite from sleep deprivation, and I think eating will actually help settle your stomach.”

Remus groaned, forcing himself up. “Fine.”

“I have Captain Crunch here for you.”

It was difficult to eat when his hands were shaking and his brain was moving at the pace of a very sleepy snail but that was worth it for his favourite cereal. Did he only like it because of the pirate mascot? Maybe. 

Logan took the bowl away when he was finished and Remus flopped back into Janus’ hold. 

He wanted to curl up again but Janus stopped him. “Would you like to lay on my lap, dearest? It might be easier to sleep.” 

He shrugged, but apparently he didn’t get a choice as Janus gently lowered him down onto his lap.

He blearily cracked open his eyes to watch Happy Tree Friends. It was quiet, but subtitles were turned on. 

Virgil tossed a blanket over him, letting it come fluttering down over his tired body. The blanket was soft but thick, in a very comforting way. Remus scrubbed it against his face, rubbing it into his achy eyes. 

He kicked his legs again, too tired to move but in need of something to do. Curse his need to stim. 

Instead, he focused on the softness of the blanket, the warmth of Janus’ lap as his pillow. He rolled over onto his side, tucking his legs in and sighing as he felt the rough denim of Janus’ pants under his cheek. He focused on happy tree friends and let his mind melt. 

A soft gloved hand gently ran through his hair, making his brain fill with static. Janus summoned a comb and used it to run through the soft locks, brushing back to keep them out of his face and to give Remus the right sensory input. 

Remus purred, eyes closing as he relaxed further, ready to slip into a doze. 

Seconds passed, then minutes, and still Remus struggled to slip that final bit and head into dreamland. The more he waited the more frustrated he got. And frustration didn’t make it easier to sleep. 

He didn’t understand! Everything was perfect, he was relaxed, why couldn’t he just sleep?!

The Tv clicked off and the comb pulled one final time through his hair, before Janus removed his gloves and put a cool, scaled hand on his face. 

“Taking a while to get to sleep, huh?” Remus didn’t answer and the words felt fuzzy going in his ears. 

Running his long, lithe fingers through his hair gave Remus a deep sense of comfort, and the frustration faded from his mind as another hand cradled the arch of his back. 

“Come little children…”

Jan was… singing? To him? He hadn’t done this for years, not since they were kids. 

“I'll take thee away, into a land of enchantment. Come little children, the time's come to play. Here in my garden of shadows” 

Remus relaxed into Janus’ hold and words, letting the nostalgia wash over him in droves. The smell and feel of his guardian against him, his nasty thoughts didn’t stand a chance. Not with his mama there to protect him. 

Janus’ voice was soft and crooning as he sang the lullaby, petting his child into sleep in a way he hadn’t done for so long. He missed this, he wasn’t afraid to say that. He missed being about to just hold Remus close to him and relax together.

Remus looked up at him with half asleep eyes. “Luv you mama.” He whispered, before shutting his eyes and going into a deep sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Remus whump has my soul


End file.
